Letter to my spiritual master's instructions

My dear spiritual master’s instructions,

Please accept my humble obeisances. It is in the middle of the night at this time, but I had an urge to write you this letter. Why you may ask? Honestly, why this inspiration came over me, I do not know. However, it is of no big consequence. An opportunity to glorify you and meditate on your significance in my life needs no excuse.

You are the most worshipable object of my life. You are eternal. Your physical form may not be, but I do my best to catch up with you in your humanlike dress, be it in Sweden, Belgium or India. Still, because of my many conditionings, I commit grave offences in your vapu presence. I see you as a mundane person, much like myself, and I speculate about the nature of your mind, about the meaning behind your actions. I shudder at my conclusions. Truly, I am deeply sorry, for I wish only to render you some service. Unfortunately, I fumble around in pretended darkness, not realizing that I have only closed my eyes.

Therefore I have come before you now, dear instructions. Dear vani, you have a merciful omnipresence, which makes you very difficult to forget. To neglect you is a strenuous endeavor indeed. Whatever may happen in the ongoing evolution of this world, you remain the same and intact. You are dependable in the top most sense of the term. Actually, I believe that you are the original form, which later physically manifested, thereby comprehendingly descending to the level of this ungrateful fool.

O’ what mercy! O’ most attractive invitation! What inspiration and heartwarming, fatherly guidance! This is true inconceiveablility. How heartless and utterly shameless must I be for not jumping to my feet, running around begging others to please receive your message? I try, with a broken heart’s honesty, I try, I truly try. There is struggle and there are self-inflicted wounds. The latter surely bleed, but its liquidity and color are o’ so illusory. I have experienced this many times over.

Dearmost merciful instructions, please let me enter your kingdom and make me able to walk down your paved, smooth alleyways. Please empower my ability to overlook my own discrepancies, so that I may focus on your availability. I do not want to ask you for something very big, for it is not my place. However, I am sorely begging from you the slightest of sidelong glances, thereby perfecting my existence in this life, and others to come.

Whatever be the case, I promise to continue, even at my snail like pace, because as long as I am on the move, tightly embracing your lotus feet, it is my conviction that you will not leave me entirely.

Still your aspiring servant,

Yudhisthira das

"Just try to be a good person. That will be very atractive. Actually it is preaching."

Letter to Sri Rama, Rama Navami 2012

My dear Lord Ramachandra,

Please accept my humble obeisances. Today was Your appearance day, Rama Navami. We celebrated it here in the capital of Norway, Oslo. It is far away from Your capital of Ayodhya, but by the grace of Your dear Srila Prabhupada, we have come to know of Your past times even at this far distant place.
When I was a new devotee, one of the first books I read was the Ramayana. Remembering the reading, I can still feel that surging feeling, like a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Your life is very adventurous, almost like a fairy tale. As the Supreme Lord, I sense that You arrange for Your past times to be very special and highly uncommon, attracting the minds of the wayward living beings and fulfilling the desires of your eternal associates. However,  I am not one to understand Your purposes, my Lord, for You are a great mystery.

My reason for writing to You on this day, is to express, in a humble way, my deep gratitude for You. Especially reading about the intimate dealings You have with Your brothers, wife and family, I am deeply moved to see Your unfathomable affection and loving reciprocation. You are also a king of supreme standard, surrounded with unimaginable opulence, yet You display a unique, humble detachment, renouncing the throne and the royal fortune just to maintain the virtue of Your father's word. Accepting fourteen years of exile, You appear to be the natural forest dweller, enjoying simple meals of gathered roots cooked on the fire, sleeping on a bed of leaves with ease. I also enjoy a natural setting, with starlit nights by glowing embers. This draws me to You, my Lord, for You exhibit traits with which I can relate. For this I want to express my sincere gratitude. You are my first ever impression of God, as a young bhakta, and I remember fondly the amazing connection I felt in my heart, for You. As I read of Your past times on this day, after my discovery of You years ago, I now find myself in the role of a husband, as a father, and my initial feeling of You as a Supreme Role Model for life's relationships find deeper and deeper meaning. In my own words, You seem to be a person true to Your heart, and in this way You open for others to reveal their hearts in return.

Please excuse my shortcomings, dear Rama, for I am one of those jivas who turned away from You in days of yonder. Trying to find my way back to You now, I stumble on the path in this thick forest of doubt and contamination. The choking vines of the senses and thorny bushes of the mind are like a dense network, impossible to penetrate. Please, my dear Raghava, if You desire it, release an arrow in my direction, severing this material vegitation and freeing me from my entanglement. You are a great archer of universal renown, holding Your ground against hordes of Rakshashas in the ancient days. You have Lakshmana and Hanuman by Your side, and Your wife Sita Devi, born of the earth itself, is directly the Goddess of Fortune, so victory is always with You.

Please consider my predicament, as I am surrounded on all sides by the Rakshashas in my heart, and aid me in this battle, for I wish to come to You again.

The aspiring servant of Your servant's servants,

Yudhisthira dasa